Sorry about the long wait for this post. My daughter started school so life was chaotic leading up to that point. Things will return to normal now!
In the last chapter, SW gave Carrie an ultimatum: Either join the Band of Merry Tools or die like the rest of Cyrus’s progeny. She has two weeks, so now the timer has started.
Carrie reads The Sanguinarius, which is “as dry and Victorian as Lord of the Rings.” SW calls her every night and asks if she’s come to a decision, and Carrie gets turned on by the sound of his voice on the answering machine. More than blood, I think the poor girl needs to get laid.
Fortunately for all of us–or just me, cause I’m the one reading it–she realizes bloodlust is taking her over and steals some vials of it from the hospital. Awesome! Are we about to see Carrie accept her vampire nature and stop boring us all?
The threat of tiny viruses just waiting to take up residence in my body made my skin crawl. I poured the blood down the sink and destroyed the vials.
Finally she decides to show up at SW’s apartment and beg for blood, despite having it readily available at the job she still goes to for some reason. He isn’t home so she goes on the hunt, which sounds better than it actually is.
I wanted someone young. Someone beautiful. I spotted her on the street.
Carrie stalks this woman into a club, where she loses her, and someone else gets her attention. Carrie takes this time to be super judgmental for no reason.
[Dahlia] wasn’t slender by any means, and she swayed to the music with an innate grace that erased any notion she found her body bulky or unwieldy.
She moved like a dancer despite her round shape
No wonder she was bragging about having lost 20 pounds in two days at the beginning of the chapter. It was supposed to be a sharp contrast to this, a woman who is somehow not ashamed of her body despite having a “round shape.” How is such a thing possible?! Carrie doesn’t know, because she’s an anorexic asshole.
Dahlia takes Carrie to an abandoned building and explains that she can always find a blood donor here, as long as she’s got the cash. Then she charges Carrie $50 to drink her blood and becomes my new favorite character.
Carrie is a vampire for all of ten seconds before chickening out and trying not to throw up blood. She runs away and Dahlia follows behind to laugh at her. God, I love this woman.
She smiled. “Poor baby. Daddy didn’t bother to tell you anything, did he? Just ran right out after he got what he wanted.” Her mouth formed a momentary picture of disgust. “That’s so like him.”
[Carrie says] “Who are you talking about?”
WHY ARE YOU THIS STUPID, CARRIE. Your parents were both geniuses and you somehow got your doctorate. Who do you think she’s talking about?! I can’t with this moron.
Dahlia makes fun of her stupidity some more, saying that it’s always obvious when a new vampire is made. Carrie gets weaker and weaker as the taunting continues, and the reader realizes she’s been drugged loooong before Carrie does (which comes as a surprise to no one.) Dahlia stabs her in the stomach and waxes poetic about Cyrus, about how he won’t turn her but he’ll turn a bunch of idiots like Carrie and let them die. Carrie has no reaction to any of this, not even internally.
She pushes Dahlia down and makes a pathetic attempt to run. There, I just summed up two whole pages. She slumps down on SW’s doorstep and gets covered up with snow, then takes a nap. SW finds her and takes her inside. There, another five pages. The attempt at drama here is so boring I couldn’t even find anything worth quoting.
I am not looking forward to chapter 5. So much regret, you guys. Who talked me into reading this?!